12 years of being a hypnotherapy practitioner

This year I celebrated 12 years of being a hypnotherapy practitioner. So what have I learnt? First that I really enjoy it and that it works! It’s been a real joy to see so many people make the journey from smoker to ex-smoker, or to witness a client’s world open us as they finally break free of their fear of flying, or of enclosed spaces, or of heights… But those I knew about going in.

More surprising was finding out just how amazing it is at helping people sleep better. At first, it was anecdotal, people who came for other issues, reported how well they’d started to sleep, and then I started focusing in and now I have a hypnosis programme specifically for sleep.

When I think of the people who’ve had sessions with me over the years, it strikes me that the main impetus that brings you to the therapy space is usually a crisis of confidence, and I see confidence here in a wider meaning, I really see it a form of self-mastery.

Take William for instance. He came to see me because one ordinary morning he drove to work and when he got there he found he just couldn’t make himself get out of the car. I just can’t do it any more he kept repeating to himself.

Or beautiful bright Abby who became a wreck if she ever had to speak in front of an audience.

Or Thomas, who considered himself fearless until he had a panic attack driving through one of Switzerland’s many tunnels.

For William, the crisis of confidence was in the structure that underpins his life. Abby’s was a crisis in her confidence to own her place in the world. And for Thomas, it was something that we ended up tracing to the moment of his birth, when the umbilical chord wrapped itself around his neck.

So I would say that one of the things hypnotherapy is particularly good at is taking you to the root cause of something that’s causing you a crisis of confidence and giving you the means to fix it.

Now what is it not so good for? It is not a clinical method. It will not resolve clinical issues. So for example, it will help you eat better but it will not help you with an eating disorder. It will help you sleep better, but it will not resolve chronic insomnia. It will help you feel happier but it will not resolve clinical depression.

But the most important is that it will not help someone who is not willing to do the work. It is not a magic bullet. You need to engage in the process.

Looking back at how my practice has evolved over the years, the biggest change is the move from in-person sessions to sessions by Zoom. In Nice, where I lived when I first set up my practice, I had a therapy space in my home. The act of welcoming people into an albeit separate space in my home was important to me. It was the first step to building trust. It also meant that I created a safe space for clients to visit outside of their own surroundings. Just entering the therapy room started the process of creating space for their self-care.

I was very reticent about online sessions at first. They were forced upon me by the Covid pandemic and it took a little adjustment. But now, I find I like them better than in person sessions and that’s because of the three main big learnings from my experience so far.

The first is the importance of stress reduction, relaxation and prioritising rest and sleep. I would not have considered these essential elements of my practice when I started out. I thought of them as complimentary, a way to start or end a session, but not something crucial in itself. Now I think of it as vital. We are stressed out individuals walking round the planet in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I say we not because I identify with this description, if anything I am the opposite of that, but because it has become increasingly the norm. Online sessions enable people to anchor that state of rest into their daily lives.

The second is: less intervention, more exploration. When I started out, I tried to pack several interventions into one session. The time spent talking, exploring, delving into the dynamics and feel of the client’s experience of the issue they were trying to resolve I considered secondary to the desire to implement change. Now I firmly believe that the talking part is the most important part of a session. Allowing clients space and time to truly express themselves, to gain insight and clarity, to start to see their own way forward is the magic of the therapeutic process. And I find that this works well online, it’s often easier to talk in front of a screen than sitting on a couch.

And finally: acceptance trumps change. Hypnosis and regression hypnotherapy are in essence therapies for change, or that’s how I saw them: a client comes in because they want to change something about themselves or their lives. Maybe they want to stop smoking, maybe they don’t want to be scared of being in enclosed spaces any more, maybe they want to change their relationship with their mother or partner, or… I was taught that we were there to create transformation, which I read as change.

12 years later, I see things differently. More often than not, the real breakthrough is not change but acceptance. Rather than changing our feelings, it’s learning to accept them, to make space for them, to sit with them fully. Rather than changing our bodies, it’s about accepting that our bodies are magnificent and tremendous as they are. Change may well follow as a consequence of acceptance. Learning to sit with difficult feelings will improve your relationships. Learning to love your body will likely mean you look after it better. And so on… And I find online sessions lend themselves well to this more gentle yet efficacious way of working.

That said, hypnosis for change is still a tremendous tool and I love incorporating it into my sessions. I was surprised by how well hypnosis sessions via Zoom work. That was until I thought about it! In a classic hypnosis session the client is lying down, eyes closed and listening to my instructions and suggestions. When this happens whilst they are in the safety and comfort of their own homes, and listening to my voice on headphones or ear-pods, it’s not surprising it works exceptionally well.

Note: Names and personal details of clients changed to preserve confidentiality.